Ten weeks to departure

THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!

I have been placed in a small, fairly rural community in Ghana. I will be living with the local pastor, and teaching at a small church school of about 120 students. The youngest will be toddling, the oldest about twelve years old. I attended my briefing yesterday, in Reading, after an incredibly arduous train journey. Sat on the train to London bridge- that voice came over the intercom.

"Yars, hello.... We're going to delay the train for about ten minutes cause... well, cause we can't really be bothered. Haha, suckers."

Huh. Never mind, I still had an hour to get to Paddington. The train pulled into London Bridge. I then made the terrible mistake of having one of my Special Ideas. I know what I'll do, I'll jump on the underground to get to Charing Cross, that way I can transfer easily onto the bakerloo line, and it will all be so terribly, terribly simple!

My Special Ideas never work out.

Went happily down several escalators, jumped on the tube and took the Northern line. The tube however, did not take me to Charing Cross, it took me to Bank. What? What?? Jumped off the tube. Shit. Ah, okay, don't panic. Right, it transpires the northern line goes nowhere near Charing Cross. Does Bank have the Bakerloo line? No. I could go south to Elephant and Castle? No, that'll take to long, I'll go and get an overhead train to Charing Cross. Got on an escalator going up, glancing anxiously at my watch, now starting to get a bit stressy about time. Get to the top of the escalator- Trains? Trains? Only the Circle and District Lines. Do they go anywhere near Charing Cross? No. Damn! Turn to go back down the escalator- no! It's only a one way escalator! Shit- run round, go out the exit, then back in, have to go back down and get on the Southern line to get to Elephant and Castle and change onto the bakerloo line there.. Escalator is broken. Run down the stairs, follow sign for the Northern Line. Run down several corridors, accidentally bulldoze a small muslim lady- sign for the Northern line going- up the stairs??? What??? But I've only just come down the stairs, why am I going up more stairs?? Run up the stairs, along more corridors, then down another set of stairs- How I hate all these stairs! Eventually arrive back on the Northern line platform, slightly tearful and screaming I HATE LONDON! I HATE THE TUBE! at unsuspecting tourists. After sixteen years living in this city you would think I had at least a basic grasp of how these things work... Jump on the tube and eventually get to Elephant and Castle, get to the Bakerloo line and reach paddington about half an hour later. Am half an hour behind schedule, have missed the train I wanted to catch, wish I was in Ghana RIGHT NOW, because trains don't exist out there.

I got to Reading at about half eleven, and fell onto a bus. Had to go through the whole debacle of finding exact change to pay the driver, and then as I wandered up the aisle, someone said my name. Tall guy, with dark hair, a long black coat and a trilby. Ah- it was The Scientist.

"Nice to meet you..." I said warily, shaking his hand and wondering whether he was about to stab me for my previous comment about his living in the backarse of nowhere. But no, he didn't seem to bear a grudge, and I was relieved. Even more of a miracle was that I wasn't late for the briefing.

A very busy afternoon ensued, covering all the basic information. And I have a real problem. In Ghana, doing anything with your left hand is seen as a serious breach of manners. You can't shake hands with your left hand, you can't point at things with your left hand, you cant EAT anything with your left hand... It's all tantamount to wandering into the country and going HULLO. **** YOU ALL!

....I am very, very left-handed. I am now worried that I'm going to have absolutely no friends. My Mother has suggested tying my left hand behind my back between now and January, Victorian-style. I'm going to have to work something out...

At the end of the day an ex-volunteer who went to Ghana last year came to chat to us and show us all of his photos. We all got the opportunity to ask him any questions we wanted, the adults had to leave the room in case anything 'personal' snigger snigger came up. He was a very friendly guy, and at the end of his talk, he put his hands on the desk and said

"I just have one thing to say to you.."

What? What? We all leaned forwards intrigued.

"... You get worms. Living in your feet."

...WHAT?

"Yeah, these parasites, you pick them up from the sand. Don't worry about it, just take some pills and it kills them off. Doesn't hurt, s'just a bit itchy..."

Amazing. I'm going to stay in a country where worms live in my feet and I write with THE HAND OF THE DEVIL.

....I absolutely can't wait.